Big Magic. Low Mood. And the Space In-Between

I’ve been sitting in the after of the afterglow - the weird little pocket of time where the sparkle fades, energy dips, and the grit-your-teeth part shows up.

The part no one seems to post or really talks about.

I’ve had so much goodness lately.

Big energy.

Aligned action.

Magic moments.

And then!

Two days ago....:

PMS.

Feeling low.

Feeling so very, very unmotivated.

And to add to that, I’m in the midst of very gently stepping down one of my meds and for the first time in 18 months, this may be having an effect.

I wanted to curl up in a dark room.

I wanted to turn the world off.

And just be in the dark for a bit.

But that’s not how life works when you’re a grown up with people depending on you.

So - what did I do?

I found other ways to be kind to and with myself.

Instead of picking up my phone and zoning out with games,

I sat down and wrote this.

Instead of heading to the shops to buy 10 tonnes of chocolate to emotionally inhale,

I drank a glass of water and scoped out what sweet stuff we already had at home (FYI, I did end up getting chocolate, but it was only one block and not a trolley full...)

Instead of flopping on the couch and scrolling for something to binge watch,

I unpacked the dishwasher.

Instead of trying to mentally juggle all the things,

I wrote down my top six, highest priority, things to focus on.

It’s not glamorous.

But it’s real.

Now, let’s rewind to Monday.

An unexpected day off work.

Sunshine.

Lightness.

I went for a walk mid morning -

Fresh air on my skin.
Sun on my face.

I came home clear-headed and focused.

And now, fast forward to Friday….

Grey skies.

Everything felt heavier.

One of those ‘curl up with a hot chocolate and a blanket’ kind of days.

But here’s what I want to be clear about:

This isn’t about pushing through or ignoring my body’s clues.

What I’ve been noticing lately is how much energy the little things have been stealing from me:

The half finished to-dos.

The low level tabs constantly open in the back of my mind.

All the other stuff that hums quietly in the background, draining my energy.

So, Friday, instead of numbing out,
I gently closed a few of them.

Not because I had to,

Because I get to create more space -

Mentally.
Emotionally.
Energetically.

This isn’t a productivity flex.
It’s an energy reclaim.

Monday was flow.

Friday was clean up.